


Loop

by Izzu



Category: Japanese Drama, Maou
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-12
Updated: 2010-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-08 04:10:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzu/pseuds/Izzu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naoto gave some thought over the relationship the three of them seemed to have created between themselves. Ryo/Shiori, one-sided Naoto/Shiori</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Serizawa Naoto

The first time when he met _her_ in person, he thought her as a very pretty person. Finding out about her supernatural ability had been shocking, but somehow... he managed to accept that after realizing that her powers were genuine. When he met _him_ for the first time, he thought he seemed to be a nice person. Though after that, seeing how he always happened to be involved in the case he was on; he had a bit of animosity against the guy. He had thought of the guy as just another emotionless bastard. Later though, he learned to set aside their differences. It's not as if _he_ could help it. One could not choose what case or task one should be handling after all, that should be the same to Naruse as well as himself. He couldn't fault _him_ for doing his job well.

Somehow, since then... after series of cases and constant meetings with the two, he couldn't help but be drawn towards them. But perhaps he was just imagining it.

Sakita Shiori seemed to be a nice girl, sweet too. He admitted that he had never thought of seriously taking any interest over any girls... despite thinking that he would one day find a wife as good as Mari-san. He thought that perhaps, Shiori-san could be the person. Not sure when it happened. Perhaps it was from the way she had lived honestly, perhaps in the way she struggled with herself as she tried to use her gift at the cost of her own health. Perhaps, it had been when she has given him words of comforts when he had fallen to the lowest state. Not sure when but he had thought of wanting to protect her.

When he saw her with Naruse, he wasn't sure of what he was feeling. Her gaze towards him had been so gentle; perhaps he had felt slightly jealous of the man. That feeling had grown stronger every time he had seen them together since, but he kept that feeling to himself all the time.

When he had found out that Amano Makoto—no, Manaka Tomoo was actually Naruse Ryo, he was not sure of what to think. Aside from the fact the man he was after had always been beside him all this time, he wasn't sure of what to do when thinking about his relationship with Shiori-san. Because of his actions in the past, he had turned the man that Shiori-san appeared to love into a criminal avenger. Because of him, many other people had been victimized and unexpectedly dragged in. Despite his anger over what Naruse did, he couldn't help wishing that he could turn back time. If only he hadn't ran, if only he had tried to save Hideo. Hideo might have not died. Then, everything wouldn't have to become like this. The people related to him wouldn't start being killed one by one and Shiori-san wouldn't end up falling in love with a murderer. Manaka Tomoo... could have lived his life happily like any other normal person.

Everything had all been his fault.

But then when Shiori-san continued to remain with the case, he had wondered if she also knew. Then, could it be that she also wanted to stop Naruse?

That realization hurt him deep inside his heart. Because of him, Shiori-san had to take this painful path.

Perhaps that was why, after his brother and his father died... he had resolved to confront him again. Once and for all.

When Naruse told him to just shoot him, he had realized his true failure. If only he had grasped on the truth much earlier, if only... things had happened differently, he could have saved the man. When Naruse had tried to kill himself, he had unthinkingly lunged forward to stop him. Even when he ended up shotting himself after that, he didn't mind.

At least  _Tomoo-san_  would live.

At least this way... Shiori-san would not have to be sad.

Perhaps this way, he could finally atone...


	2. Manaka Tomoo

He wished that he could have died as well... long ago.

When Hideo died, he felt sorrow.

He felt anger at the injustice.

He felt... at lost.

But he had buried those feelings inside his heart, because his mother was still alive. With Hideo gone, he was the only other family his mother had. He have to become a strength to which his mother could depend on to keep living. Yet, even that was taken away. The moment that spiteful man sent his lawyer to deliver the last insult to his mother.

A monetary condolence.

As if  _that_  could bring Hideo back.

Have any of them asked them for money? No. Aside from the justice that has been taken away from them, his mother and him wanted nothing from those rich bastards. Despicable people! Are the lives of the people they sacrificed along their paths valued little in their eyes? So worthless that they could have just throw their worthless papers to others, expecting their sins to be cleared? Arrogant fools!

As he continued watching Serizawa constantly year by year, his heart had been constantly bombarded with endless cycle of despair and anger. While he had been suffering,  _that person_ continued to live happily. As if Hideo was nothing but a past memory. He wondered which of the two he hated more? That young man... or the father?

He hated the fact that this hatred that continued to grow and mutate inside his heart, continuing to eat him. He hated the fact that he had remained living in despair, while the injustice still continued to be unresolved. They should also kill him as well. They've already taken his brother, mother... as well as his own livelihood. What else he should live for?

Thankfully, he was not truly alone. He had Ryo by his side, he could at least have a bit of comfort in company of another. But then, that also had been taken away the moment Ryo died. It had been just an instant, but Ryo had risked his own safety to push him out of danger. At the cost of his own life.

Again, he continued to live... while others have died, leaving him behind. Another life had been lost. Another reminder of what Serizawa had done to ruin his life. If Hideo had still be alive, if his mother was still alive as well—his life would have turned out to be different. He and Ryo wouldn't have ended up running towards that place for shelter, and Ryo would not have died so early. And he could have been able to live happily with his sister.

Perhaps, that was why... he did not hesitate when he took on Ryo's name and killed _himself_. It seemed fate kept wanting to let him remain in the darkness.

Alas, the only salvation he have had, during all those years... had been Ryo's sister. As well as that girl. That one who had brought his brother's truth to the open. Even if it was not much, he appreciated it all the same. As for Ryo's sister, at least he could spare her grief by not knowing of her brother's death while pretending as Ryo. In return, he could keep to this new identity of his while bidding his time.

Despite that, his feelings had been real. He had treated Makiko-san as his own sister. That's... the only thing left of his supposedly  _normal_ life.

When he met Shiori again after so long, he had vowed to keep his distance from her. But saying it and acting on it were totally different thing. Without meaning to, he have let her to reside inside his heart. Like moth to a fire, they were drawn to each other. Though he wondered who was actually the moth, who was it the fire? Like that story of the two siblings, Shiori-san seemed to have been able to melt his heart that had so long turned into stone. Yet, he could not allow himself such bliss. He, who had strayed far into the depth of hell. He has no right to seek for salvation, for her or even his own stained soul.

Perhaps it had been the same for that person as well.

Somehow, as he continued his path of vengeance—he started having his own doubts. Did he really hated that person? Had he somehow misunderstood everything? As he got to know more about Serizawa Naoto, the more he wished for that person to quickly find his way towards him. Perhaps—he really did, want to be saved. Like Shiori-san said. Perhaps...

Or could all those repeated requests for forgiveness had somehow mellowed the raging fire inside of him? Or that... Shiori-san's words...

It was no use. It was too late to turn back now. Even if he wanted to.

He couldn't even stop Yamano.

Even then, perhaps there would at least be someone who will be spared out of these chains of events that he had started. Perhaps, that friend of Serizawa.

And of course... _her.  
_  
That's what he decided. That's why... in the end, he just wanted to end this quickly. Though... even  _that_  didn't go as planned, eh?

He hadn't expected Serizawa to hesitate as he had. He hadn't expected the guy to end up dead before him. He hadn't expected...

"What were you thinking, Serizawa?" he said as he struggled to move the dead body towards the corner.

It's not as if he would be able to return to Shiori's side anymore.

Not when he was also dying.

" _Idiot..._ "


End file.
